Eedee - "Trickling Blood" [DEMO]

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Eedee - "Trickling Blood" [DEMO]

Post by Eedee on Tue Feb 12, 2013 4:54 am

AUDIO DEMO

So I recorded this demo for this song I'm writing... I need to know if you guys feel it. Flow/rhyming/timing is what I'm looking for. When I actually go in to record in the studio (this was in my dorm), my voice will be better, as well as my delivery. So basically the writing of this as well as the flow is what I'm looking for help on. Do you guys feel it, or no? Thanks!

---------------------------


[Verse 1] (:37)
Through the crack of the door I see an arm drop
You are back here for more, I feel my heart stop.
But every time I go around the middle man, I get these thoughts
That we are the fucking worst, cuz we keep on
Doing this, moving bricks, but ask me if I fucking care
It's useless to keep trying, but there's nothing there.
There's nothing to feel as I see the fingers lash out
And hit the floor with lifeless intent, it's a glass house.
Do I back out? Who the FUCK do I ask now?
I rap 'bout my feelings but EVERYONE seems to bash how
I scatter the images of the pictures and I see things
I'm dreaming of the dignity I have left to leave with.
The door creaks, and more dreams fill my aching head
But my sanity's expelled in this wave of dread.
But as I see the wrist droop, it's you who comes with it
The pain I whistle is in tune... the blood trickles.

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- Mat Demaz, Jan. 8, 2013; 1:21AM AK Time
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Re: Eedee - "Trickling Blood" [DEMO]

Post by mdemaz on Tue Feb 12, 2013 11:41 am

Interesting.

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Re: Eedee - "Trickling Blood" [DEMO]

Post by reneesmith on Tue Feb 19, 2013 9:57 pm

Doesn't sound as good as the stuff on Ashes.

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Re: Eedee - "Trickling Blood" [DEMO]

Post by Eedee on Wed Feb 20, 2013 7:11 am

That's because not only is it a demo... I recorded with my shitty USB mic and didn't mix it lol

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fool me three times I punch my computer monitor"
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Re: Eedee - "Trickling Blood" [DEMO]

Post by mdemaz on Sat Feb 23, 2013 1:40 am

Fakkit.

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Re: Eedee - "Trickling Blood" [DEMO]

Post by Eedee on Sat Feb 23, 2013 1:40 am

K :(

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fool me three times I punch my computer monitor"
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Re: Eedee - "Trickling Blood" [DEMO]

Post by FallenAngel on Mon Apr 22, 2013 1:26 pm

Is this track dropping?

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Re: Eedee - "Trickling Blood" [DEMO]

Post by Eedee on Mon Apr 22, 2013 3:49 pm

Should it? It's up to you guys...

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Re: Eedee - "Trickling Blood" [DEMO]

Post by FallenAngel on Sat May 04, 2013 9:00 pm

Yeah, drop it.

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Re: Eedee - "Trickling Blood" [DEMO]

Post by Eedee on Sat May 04, 2013 9:02 pm

K.

It'll be on a small mixtape in June.

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fool me three times I punch my computer monitor"
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Re: Eedee - "Trickling Blood" [DEMO]

Post by metalchick on Sat May 04, 2013 9:22 pm

Yay!

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Re: Eedee - "Trickling Blood" [DEMO]

Post by Eedee on Sat May 04, 2013 9:23 pm

I don't even like the song, tbh.

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fool me three times I punch my computer monitor"
- Mat Demaz, Jan. 8, 2013; 1:21AM AK Time
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Re: Eedee - "Trickling Blood" [DEMO]

Post by metalchick on Tue May 07, 2013 9:22 pm

Why not?

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Re: Eedee - "Trickling Blood" [DEMO]

Post by Eedee on Tue May 07, 2013 9:38 pm

I don't know. Maybe I do. Maybe if I sat down and completed the concept I would.

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"fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me
fool me three times I punch my computer monitor"
- Mat Demaz, Jan. 8, 2013; 1:21AM AK Time
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Re: Eedee - "Trickling Blood" [DEMO]

Post by LadyDeath on Wed May 08, 2013 10:36 am

I think it's alright...

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Re: Eedee - "Trickling Blood" [DEMO]

Post by Eedee on Wed May 08, 2013 11:04 am

Cool. Maybe I'll release it.

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"fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me
fool me three times I punch my computer monitor"
- Mat Demaz, Jan. 8, 2013; 1:21AM AK Time
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Re: Eedee - "Trickling Blood" [DEMO]

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